While he hasn't been able to stop having some of the reactions he's had since getting back from China--the paranoia, the panic attacks, the worst moments of depression--he has gotten better at hiding them. Knowing when he's about to have a panic attack and finding somewhere no one will see him, pasting on a poker face and steadying his hands when he's jumping out of his skin because it feels like he's being watched. If he doesn't want Beckett to worry about him, he's pretty sure he can hide how he's really doing, most of the time at least.
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Date: 2010-12-31 05:25 am (UTC)While he hasn't been able to stop having some of the reactions he's had since getting back from China--the paranoia, the panic attacks, the worst moments of depression--he has gotten better at hiding them. Knowing when he's about to have a panic attack and finding somewhere no one will see him, pasting on a poker face and steadying his hands when he's jumping out of his skin because it feels like he's being watched. If he doesn't want Beckett to worry about him, he's pretty sure he can hide how he's really doing, most of the time at least.