trigger_man: (Jack is sure you must be kidding)
trigger_man ([personal profile] trigger_man) wrote2010-11-06 02:02 am

Conversations With Dead People

 When Jack closes his eyes, he’s surrounded by the familiar environs of his room in Milliways, curled in his bed as a few rays of moonlight slant through chinks in the blinds.

When he opens them, it’s to a room which is nearly as dim, just as familiar, but nowhere near as comfortable. Concrete walls, blue lighting embedded in the walls, a one-way mirror dominating one wall.

It’s a room he’s seen so many times in his dreams--his nightmares--but this feels so much more real than it ever has before. The walls close in, the air feels oppressive, like a weight on his chest.

The dreams never go anywhere good from here.

[identity profile] beltwayheroine.livejournal.com 2010-11-09 01:23 pm (UTC)(link)
The eerie stillness is a strange comfort, though Audrey tells herself not to compare it to a tomb.

This place almost was her grave; she didn't have any useful information to hide or to share once she retreated so far inside herself it seemed she'd never return. But even then, it was never silent here.

"It's okay," she says, keeping her voice low as they creep down the hall. "We're still safe. I know we are."

She reaches for Jack's hand, her fingers glancing along his knuckles.

"It's not like before."

[identity profile] beltwayheroine.livejournal.com 2010-11-11 06:47 pm (UTC)(link)
She concentrates on slowing her heart rate as they walk, hand in hand, toward the fissure of light framing the door.

She's safe, he's safe, they're safe.

Cheng isn't here, the guards won't drag her back to a cell; she won't ever feel the sting of dozens of needles piercing her skin again, pumping her so full of chemicals she can't remember her birthday or her mother's name.

Jack won't be held for weeks and months in a forgotten concrete cube, dying a little more every day for a country that left him behind.

Fingers tightening around his, she attempts a tiny smile.

"But you have to," she says, soft and sad.

She swallows, regret thick on her tongue.

"That's why we're here."

[identity profile] beltwayheroine.livejournal.com 2010-11-11 07:00 pm (UTC)(link)
She's losing him all over again.

This ache is sharper, deeper.

A kaleidoscope of memories whirl and click, bleeding from soft-focus to full relief as her eyes meet Jack's.

("Your name is Audrey Raines. You were born Audrey Louise Heller in Albany, New York. Your father was the Secretary of Defense, James Heller. Your mother's name is Alicia, she died when you were nine.")

She thought she'd steeled herself for this.

("I hope one day you can forgive me. I love you with all my heart.")

Blinking hard, she nods, committing the warmth and weight of his touch somewhere secret and sacred.

"I'm halfway there," she says, closing her eyes to keep any tears from falling. "So don't worry about me."

She lifts one hand, fitting her palm against the back of his at her cheek.

"I want you to live. Don't just survive."

[identity profile] beltwayheroine.livejournal.com 2010-11-11 07:02 pm (UTC)(link)
The tip of her nose nudges his, and the familiar gesture has never been as intimate as it is now.

When she pulls back just enough to look at him, the weight of everything said and unspoken fills her red-rimmed eyes.

"You, too."

[identity profile] beltwayheroine.livejournal.com 2010-11-11 07:04 pm (UTC)(link)
She hates seeing him in such obvious pain, and hates knowing that she won't (can't) be the person to help him through this — or anything else, for that matter.

With a small nod, she forces herself not to reach for him again.

Turning, she takes one step.

Another.

And another, toward the light.